Almost seems appropriate

(from the pages of FWYC mumbai sapphire edition u idiet)

DJ TIAZ TRIUMPH RETURN PRESS RELEASE- HOT FRESH NEW L@@K~~ A+

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: PISS-STEP DIETY DJ TIAZ RETURN IN HOT ANTICIPATION OF NEW ALBUM!

Canby, ACT – 18th of May, 2011

DJ TIAZ IS BACK! The musical tour-de-force poem-master is the musical genius behind PISS-STEP, a new UNDERGROUND SUBCULTURE of music which has taken the world by storm and captivated the imaginations and dreams of all the small boys. His new album, I WILL SACRIFICE THE GIRLS TO THE GOD OF MARS AND THE MOON CATALYST is predicted to set the world on fire with club-busting, chart-topping hits such as "Mouthpiss", "Dangerous Knives" and the super-platinum bombastic "Isotope of a horrible boy touching the distant star of the past (~Sanguine<3Remix~). Hailing from a far distant land, DJ Tiaz (Real name 'Killer Lord') brings his trickster hands and unrelenting eyeball lip-smooch to the decks, playing AN CD and the latest of digital MP3 tunes. Recent performances include "Abandoned Warehouse Parties that didn't happen", "4 am at empty club" and "my friend's birthday", with more to come as he plans to further his world domination via the brilliance of Piss-step "It come to me natural" he claims, standing on what looks to be a mannequin in the shape of a child, covered in red lipstick. "It's only naturals for a beat to come to me, and for me to negotiate this beat, using my crafted skills". In a recent poll, DJ Tiaz has been known to be more preferable than a cup of AIDS virus. His first album, "Genghis Khan and the Devil's Scoff" was a collaboration with the infamous Australia-Cybernetic Hip-hop Collaboration "A BUTT, MY FEATHERY KISS", and is described as "Not actually existing", a testament to it's underground nefariousness. The album is to be produced by the enigmatic NICHOLAS BURNS, AKA DJ NIGGY BONERS, one of the members behind "A BUTT, MY FEATHERY KISS", and is set for a release sometime late 2011. As DJ Tiaz says, "PAY HEED! *uses fingers like guns 2 blow u away*

Please contact firstworldyouthproblems@gmail.com for more informations. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Excited, huh? here is a poem I made for Mr Tiaz in tribute to his good nature and humble not-brags- ‎10000 piss cascade on my face as piss slowly bubbles from my mouth it makes the world go round inside the diamond spectrograph ...an endless tale of pissy woes the yellow stream and endless bait my terrible butt LONG LIVE PISS



INTERVIEW WITH THE ASIAN

Okay friend, After my last article about how its burger month i heard from a mate that its really also ASIAN HERITAGE MONTH!! He sent the message "may is asian heritage month but ive seen no mention of it anywhere pls write a piece on this tia". Well I didnt know this but also im not asian and so i dont know much of the asia story. SO i ask my friend if he will do interview w/me about asian and then I can make the article we will both be happy on!! He said YES! This is that article. My friends name is Leslie but dont be fooled, he IS Asian & also a boy. Lets go interview!!!!!!

1. i have heard that there is different kinds of asian. is it true and whats the difference?
yes its true. there are many different kind of asian. for example, there is middle east asian which is the brown peoples americans will kill on the television. then there is chinese asian like me. we are like the americans of asian (all asian look up to us). then there is japanese. everyone hate japanese. then there is thailand. thai asian is like mexican. and then there is vietnam which is like mexico of thailand. so double mexico of china.

2. everyone knows the best asian thing is anime. other cool asian things are ramen noodle and swords? what are other asian things that are cool
some cool asian things is animes, and swords.also rice... an bento boxes. those are all cool asian things u can put in ur lunchbox to take to school. like a cheeseburger. throw some rice on the barbie!!! lol

3. is it hard to be asian if ur not in asia?
no if u try hard u can be asian even if ur not a asian. for example, watch a lot of anime to learn about our culkture. and watch with SUBS not DUBS everyone knows english dub is shit!!!! another good thing look at ur local commmunity college and learn JAPANESE thats a good asian language to learn. there are mnany other place to learn to be asian. for example, if your town have a local "chinas town" inside of it. you can go there and observe asian ppl and how they act. then u can copy them. then bam ur asian!!!!! ^_^

4. do asians have any cool holidays
yes in fact this month is Asians Heritage MOnths. and also there is chinese NEw Years which is celebrated not only by chinese but it is called that anyways. and of course International Anime FEstival (which is every day for me!! hehe :) )

5. in question 3 you gave a great idea of how to be asian if ur not born thankyou! but what i mean is it hard to be asian if ur not living in asian country? like if ur chinese and live not in china or asia. thank
its hard to be chinese if ur not inc hina!!! but u gotta tough it out! like all things in life its not rewarding if its easy!!! some tips for asians out of their home countrys reading this:: make friends with some recent immigrants and copy how theys peak!!!! that will make u feel @ home :) A lots of the Time i'll find myself doing white people things... its ok tho!!! its ok to do white ppl stuff sometimes if u feel like it!!!! do wat u want!!!!!! for the gloryu of Mao Zedong!!!!

6. Asian Heritage month sounds really cool. whats ur fave fact abt asian history?
my faverite facts about asians history?? hmm that's a toughiE!!!!!!! probably my faverite fact is the terra ccotta army of the first emporer mr. Qin!!! he thought he'd be lonely when he died so he got a bunch of guys made into stone bros for him to chill w/ in the afterlife!!! now that's what i call friendship!!!!!!

7. what is the best anime
cooking master boy

8. i heard pasta is really just a copy of noodles & china invented it. did asia make any other thing that we dont think it asian?
yes thats true!!! freakin iutalians mate!! lol. hmmm some things that asian also invent????????? prolly Nuclear Bomb... we have that many century ago but we pretend we dont cuz we dont wana SCare u guys... Hmmm also when u put ketchup on scramble eggs/kraft dinner... that also from us!!! maybe i can think of some other thing later and tell u about it :) but i cant remember right now

9 why do asians sell all the best dvd for cheap?
we love to make dvd everywhere and share with everyone the joy of dvd!!!! :) i love to watch all dvd!!! even "exotic" dvd hehe :)

10. whose ur fave asian??
my faverite asian is...... Me!!! hehe :) but if i have to chosoe not me its Goku, becasuse he is the most powerful of all the asian... and he is so courageous!!! hehe :)

THANKS FOR READING ABOUT ASIA!!!!SPECIAL THanks to Leslie my canada mate thanks for telling me to watch kenny vs spenny also its p funny :))))

HOW IS EVERYONE ENJOYING NATIONAL CHEESBURGER MONTH OF AMERICA

Im sure you know i am the greatest lover of cheese burger in the world & of course this is a happy month for me even if im not in US. NATIONAL CHEESEBURGER MONTH is the great time to apreciate all that the burger has done for our culture and happy

Of course there are many ways to celbrate this time of course you can eat all the burgers!! Haha and maybe if your lucky you can get a cheese burger scent candle which you can get in this link here (click these words) Its raising mony for autism too so maybe aswell as enjoying burger's scent you will be cured. Enjoy it!

Another thing you can do too is to use the internet to do burger things. You tube has alot of burger videos and here is a look at them.


Here is a man trying to eat cheese burger in a can!! Yes its real, you can get the burger you want in the can. Its good for when you must survive the end time. Maybe this is not the best burger but who cares? all foods are in a can if your sensible in your pantry. This youtube is not in english its a sub. FUCK dubs


Sexy burger


This song about burgers proves something VERY important: anyone can like a burger. Even the asian. I hope your happy you STUPID racist!! Note: this is not Japanese ppl but i think other asias okay too i guess so.


Check it out this black man will eat burgers too. I admire this big burger but of course he will eat chicken as well!! Lol its ironic. Im not racist. But i will remind you that rap IS crap. Anime


The man is this video will teach you how to dougie!! Why is it here? His name is burger. of corse

FINALY here is a special bonus, the youtube that showed the world how much of a cheeseburger man i am. The cheeseburger thoughts and love for u to aspire... Til next time please be good and thanks for looking at this web!!!

SWORD MISTERS/masters

no legend is ever made without the use of natures most powerful gift- the sword. with the sword you can truly triumph over all obstacles, whether it is fighting dragons, chipping meat and veg, or warding off friends of people you decided to bottle over the head and then hide in your room, not because youre a cowardly dip-pin but because youre a true hardcore warrior ™

it is with great pride that we present to you a number of swords for your choosing which you can use to slay or ward off enemies, barbarians, brutes, brungles, trolls, or other warriors. swords are also handy to slay the ogre that keeps your busty, leather-clad maiden from your reach. rock out! you can also join a guitar and a sword together for the maximum supermode but be aware- it only works for the baddest of the best of the goodest knights and space ranger with laser swords.

PLEASE NOTE: IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW HOW TO USE A SWORD! PLEASE CONSULT YOUTUBE AND GOOGLE BEFORE BUYING A SWORD, AND IF YOU BUY ONE, MAKE SURE TO GET A WOLF IMPRINT OR DECORATION, A WOLF IS A NOBLE ANIMAL AND YOU ARE NOBLE TOO

dagger

User: assassins, killers
best use: walk up behind a mark and stab them with a dagger also sneak them in to airports, use them on marks. chopping vegetables and small meats (in the wild)
what I would call mine/what it would look like- either silent killer or midnight stryke, and it would have a blue blade and a red tip with a black handle, the red tip to give people a scary visage of their death/hurting
details/info smallsword for a short person to use in self defence in case of home invasion or stealth kills. very short and can be used if peple question your masculinity (or lady-like killer skills). Leads to it;s own problems which renders it a quaint paradox. Can use  a steak knife it is what i do as a professional killer

sword

User: knights, warriors, leathal enforcers, hunters
best use: combat and duels on foot. for horse duels use a lance whihc is a big pole. can also be used to hack giant meat and bigger vegetables, and to hack open doors/kill cheerleaders
what i would call mine/what it would look like: devils bane- would be totally red with black japanese symbols that would say "kill, execute. murder, honor" (would not be a katana though). I would have another one which would glow blue, cuz that would be awesome.
details/information: the classic one handed sword used by knights of the realm and other knights, including dark knights, fire knights, even wizards or modern day people and also used in plays. can be substituted with an even bigger knife than a dagger-sized knife but these might be hard to get. dont let people catch you getting them!

broadsword/doublehands

User: barbarians, slayers, salesmen
best user: attacking large parts of meat, slaying dragons and larger brutes, and showing off to the ladies.
what i would call mine/what would it look like: quaint with flower hilt, Orange vibroblade, and a laser sight. Another one I would have would be entire black, like my soul, cold and hardened.
detail/information: The largest sword like guts from berserk would use only his is WAY too big. requires two, if not THREE hands to weird these, but if you are strong enough, you will be the true champion. You can chop many things and it is reccomended that you chop anything and everything you can. you're a true man u can do what u want, do not listen to ur wife!

katanas

User: Samurai, Ninja, Manslayer, Anime hero, Me
Best use: fighting against white people with honour of pure and true japan, mercy honor kills, finest slicing, field work, open more doors, visage fighter, practice
What i would call mine/what it would look like: i currently own one with two blades in the hilt, it is the DOUBLE KATANA and i am its master, it is so quick and empowers the user (me) with super speed and strength which i already have. as said it will cut bullets and blind the enemy, but will not kill them, i am merciful
detail/information: ever since i began watching japanese anime animation, opposed to foregin gaijin fool cartoons like ren and stimpy (lol how dumb) i've been watchin animes like rurouni kenshin becuse they are deep and full of meaningful plot content. the katana is used by the samurai and ninjas from japan and even the chinese. the asians are superior weaponsmiths so the katana is the best sword and will break other swords

laser sabre/light sword/techno-katana

user: robot warrior, a jedi, a sith, anime character, villain or hero in scifiction
best use: PWN TEH FUCK OUT OF U also to chop and slice and hack and kill. can set to 1 molecule and kill you by perfect slice, youre gonna die hahhAHAH
what i would call mine/what it would look like: it would be a devils horn that would double as laser gun, and would emit a purple and black glowsword from it and it would cut thru ANYTHING because its technology
detail/information: it is a sword from films like star wars and Debiru no Kissu: heart wartz; it is the most advanced sword in the world used by the best fighter: jedi knights. i think in the old star wars these werent used enough but then there were new star wars films and theres teh robot guy with 4 of them, then u read the novels, one guy has like 12 and theyre in his kneepads, WHAT A LEGEND.